mocha almond granola-the namesake post.

do you know how wonderful it is to have an oven?

this wonderful...

yeah. 

homemade granola anyone? No, really, it's fine if you don't want any, I'm sure I can single-handedly consume it all. I may let my sister help a little bit. Maybe. 

Aren't you excited that I'm finally posting a recipe? This one has been a looonnngg time coming, so I'm ecstatic that I could create a no-added-oil and no-added-sugar recipe that tastes amazeballs and has CHOCOLATE in it. 

perfection.

Just a forewarning, it's not super sweet, which I personally adore about this recipe. But if you like your granola a bit sweeter, consider adding a touch of honey or agave which will sweeten it right up!

just look at those clusters. BEST.DARN.PART.

So here it is, get ready for granola heaven.

MOCHA-ALMOND GRANOLA

serves 4+

Dry:

1 c. rolled oats (I use Bob's Red Mill gf)

1 tbsp. golden flax seeds

2 tsp. chia seeds

1/4 c. raw whole almonds

2 tbsp. unsweetened cocoa powder

1-2 tsp. coffee grounds (to taste)

1 tsp. ground cinnamon

Wet:

1/2 c. unsweetened applesauce

1/2 tsp. pure vanilla extract

Pre-heat to 375 degrees.

Mix dry ingredients thoroughly.

Add in wet ingredients.

stir-stir-stir.

Spread on a parchment paper lined baking sheet, make sure it's not flat like a granola bar type thing. Which, though it could work if you baked it less...isn't granola. Shocker.

Bake for approximately 20 minutes. Stir it around about halfway through.
Turn down the oven to 300 degrees and bake for another 10-15 minutes. Watch to make sure it doesn't get too toasty for your liking!

DONE.

Eat. Share or don't. Be happy. 

Have an awesome Friday bloggies!

advice

On Saturday I was able to travel to my cousin's high school graduation with my family.
And goodness gracious, didn't I just graduate, like, yesterday? Yikes.

But anyways, I've noticed how easy it is to get stuck in your own darn world. To forget about the things going on around you and the joy that others experience in their big milestones, like graduation. I was so incredibly excited about my own graduation, I felt so adult and so ready to GO, to start my life.

But it's so easy to forget those feelings and to just let these huge moments for others pass right on by.

I'm trying to be intentional about expressing joy for those around me. It's so much harder than you would think.

Anyways... that's not what I was really planning on writing about. At my cousin's graduation there was a speaker, an entrepreneur and apologist who has an awesome presence on stage and what he talked about really struck a chord with me.

{freshman year: 2008}

He spoke about living between the walls of legalism and liberty. (yeah, if you couldn't tell, my cousin goes went to a smarty-party school) Well in this talk he spoke about advice that we would give our fifteen year old selves. Now, I know that I'm only nineteen, just four years past braces and freshman year, but I have some things I wish that I had known.

I would say that you, my dear, are not in control. God is, so give it up.

Life isn't easy. And unfortunately it only gets harder. But you know, it also gets more rewarding and more meaningful.

DON'T avoid or delete pictures. Ever. You may look like crap, think you look chunky or your makeup may be messed up (see 2009 picture above)...but each of those pictures captures a memory. It's a freeze frame that can bring a rush of thoughts, circumstances and feelings back and those are so precious.

Time passes quickly and defining yourself by the achievement of "big" events, like turning sixteen, graduating, or going to college makes it pass even faster.

{senior year: 2012}

There are lots of things that you will feel like you have to do. Most of them, you don't. Do things that strengthen your faith in God, bring you joy and serve others.

Just be yourself. Forget what the world says about what you have to be and how you have to act. You are special because of how you contrast with worldly ideals.

Abide.  Abide in the knowledge that even if you feel lost and have no direction, God knows. He knows your life, thoughts and prayers...but more importantly, he knows your future.

All these things I wish I would've know at fourteen. Now would I have listened? Um, nope, probs not. Would it mean anything to me at that point... also, probs not. Despite the fact that I didn't know these things then, here I am, able to see the value in all of my moments and to me, that's much much better than living a "perfect" life.

unsettledness

it's something we all face at some point, isn't it?

I've noticed it more and more at this stage in my life. This stage where there seems to be no sense of permanence, no settled-ness.

And I'm not going to lie, I hate it. I hate feeling like I don't really have a "place". I hate feeling like I'm in limbo, just waiting, transitioning.

I've been told multiple times that this stage is the stage of transition, that I should enjoy NOT having those responsibilities of being settled. And I probably should, well I know that I should...but I'm just so accustomed to being in a certain place and having a direction. It's just so weird to not feel that way.

This is something I've been struggling to find peace in, to acknowledge that this is the way that it's going to be and that I need to embrace God's plan for me, especially at this time when my life seems so hectic and temporary. I'm trying to be content in the knowledge that God's purpose for me may not be revealed immediately. I'm working to change my perception of this stage, from aimless wandering to purposeful formation of who I am.

Much much easier said than done, huh?

today

Guys, I literally just spent five  ten full minutes writing like three sentences of four different blog posts.

I know I have something to say, I just don't know how to best express it. Because the truth is, there are so many thoughts going on in my head right now. So many different things pulling for my attention.

Namely though, is the realization that today is my last night at the University of Texas. The last time I will wake up to those darn buses that drove me crazy ALL year. The last time I will get a salad from the salad bar. The last time to study in my favorite spots. And tomorrow is the last time I will take an exam here. 

Goodness, that's a lot of "lasts". 

But you know, strangely, I'm not completely heartbroken. Am I sad? Yeah, there are many things I will miss... relationships I worked hard to cultivate, dreams that I had stemming from attending this school, the pride and community that I felt by attending such a wonderful university with prestige attached to it's name. 

I don't regret any of it though. Coming here, trying what I have, learning what I've learned has helped me grow. It's helped me realize who I really am, but also who I'm not. This past year I have seen such immense growth in myself, how can I regret it? 

True, today marks the end of my time here. But if nothing else, I've learned that life is never stagnant. I've learned that each day is a chance at happiness and that you can't take for granted any one of those days. Life is more than the "big" moments, for they pass along just as fast as any other. High School, graduation, my freshman year of college (yikes!).

But gosh, guys I'm so happy. I'm so incredibly blessed to be given such an experience. To be allowed the opportunity to figure myself out a little bit more. To grow up a little. To change a lot and ultimately, to be able to see those changes. 

I don't have a clue what my future holds. I like to say that I do, because I feel the need to have "direction" in my life. But honestly, things in life change so quickly. In a flash, in an instant. So therefore, I'm trying to savor each moment, because there will never be one like it again. 

Hooray for life! And hooray for embracing each second you get to be here, mess up, learn and grow. What a gift!

figure me out.

I have this dear friend who once said to me that it's in our nature to be known.

And explaining that feeling to someone who has never experienced it is quite the task....but to be known is to be accepted. To be understood. To be seen when you need to be seen and invisible when you need to be invisible. It's to be you without holding back for whatever reason. It's to be recognized and loved.

It's to be known.

In my opinion, this is quite possibly one of the hardest things about life. We will never truly know anybody. Heck, will we ever truly know ourselves? It's rather frightening, because we desire that close relationship with people. If not for pure comfort, than for the sense of accomplishment that comes with that level of intimacy, because to really get to know someone, takes a lot of effort on our part.

But you know what? This is also the most wonderful part of life! That you are so completely unique, so utterly rare, such an odd conglomeration and mish-mash of things is completely individual.  YOU are the only YOU in the 7,083,280,365 people on Earth right now. (yeah, I looked it up) Our complexities, the reason it's so hard to know someone, makes us hard to figure out! And that's beautiful; because it means that you don't define yourself by what other people define themselves by. You have your own set of rules.

{Yes, I realize the picture is blurry.}

So be hard to figure out! Be inconsistent, irrational and individual. It's totally okay to want a motorcycle , hate parties and have an strange obsession with the small counterparts of larger objects (mini-cookware, anyone?). It's okay to be you, in fact, it's better. Goodness knows the world has enough people who are all trying to fit the "mold" of who we should be.

God sure as heck didn't decide to make me so you could look like Sarah or be more outgoing like Julia. He made you hard to figure out.

And friends, that's the best news I've heard all day.

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."

-Oscar Wilde