finding joy.

If you haven't read this post, it's a good summary of what I've been dealing with the for past couple of months. So go ahead, hop on over there!

Or if you're too lazy and you didn't...like I would probably be, just keep reading.

JOY.

Before this year, I would never have defined myself as a joyful person. I was the cynical one. Sarcasm was my language, and if you didn't understand it or didn't approve of it, well, then we weren't the best of friends. That was how I defined myself.

It wasn't until this year that I realized the people that I most admired were happy and joyful ALL OF THE TIME. They seemed to constantly shine light from every aspect of their being. These people were amazing and beautiful. But that could never be me. That just wasn't my personality, I was simply better at being sarcastic, cynical and what I called a "realist" (my attempt to soften the idea of a pessimist).

So fast forward, this year has been a year of change. Of realizations and resignations. And the biggest and by far the greatest thing I've realized is that being filled with joy isn't a personality trait.

It's a life trait...it's the Jesus that shines from you. The moment you realize that there is a whole world outside of yourself. When you can look at someone else and see the beauty, the kindness, the Christ in them. When you can look up and the sun is shining and it's a good day, just because we can see it and feel His presence.

It's the ability to thank God for what he has given you, be it the trials that challenge and strengthen your spirit, or the cloudy days that make you appreciate the sun.

But these are the days.
The days that remind you that we live in a scary world, one that wants to break you and steal your joy.

Don't let it. Take it in stride, use it to appreciate those good days, the calm coffee filled mornings or the sweet time with your family and friends, and move on. I know, that's the hardest part. When it feels like the sadness, loneliness or heartache is going to last forever, believe me... I know. But in that moment look to God, I say a prayer and I just keep going.

I'll admit, I am so weak. This attitude isn't always present, but 2 Corinthians 12:9 says ""My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." So therefore let me boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

Boast about my weaknesses?! Crazy talk, I know. In this world we are taught to be strong and to never let them see you struggle, but only in our weakness can we show God's strength. That is the best news! I don't even have to be strong, I just have to let God do his thing and be filled with joy that he has saved me and sustains me.

Psh. Just try and be cynical now.