finding joy.

If you haven't read this post, it's a good summary of what I've been dealing with the for past couple of months. So go ahead, hop on over there!

Or if you're too lazy and you didn't...like I would probably be, just keep reading.

JOY.

Before this year, I would never have defined myself as a joyful person. I was the cynical one. Sarcasm was my language, and if you didn't understand it or didn't approve of it, well, then we weren't the best of friends. That was how I defined myself.

It wasn't until this year that I realized the people that I most admired were happy and joyful ALL OF THE TIME. They seemed to constantly shine light from every aspect of their being. These people were amazing and beautiful. But that could never be me. That just wasn't my personality, I was simply better at being sarcastic, cynical and what I called a "realist" (my attempt to soften the idea of a pessimist).

So fast forward, this year has been a year of change. Of realizations and resignations. And the biggest and by far the greatest thing I've realized is that being filled with joy isn't a personality trait.

It's a life trait...it's the Jesus that shines from you. The moment you realize that there is a whole world outside of yourself. When you can look at someone else and see the beauty, the kindness, the Christ in them. When you can look up and the sun is shining and it's a good day, just because we can see it and feel His presence.

It's the ability to thank God for what he has given you, be it the trials that challenge and strengthen your spirit, or the cloudy days that make you appreciate the sun.

But these are the days.
The days that remind you that we live in a scary world, one that wants to break you and steal your joy.

Don't let it. Take it in stride, use it to appreciate those good days, the calm coffee filled mornings or the sweet time with your family and friends, and move on. I know, that's the hardest part. When it feels like the sadness, loneliness or heartache is going to last forever, believe me... I know. But in that moment look to God, I say a prayer and I just keep going.

I'll admit, I am so weak. This attitude isn't always present, but 2 Corinthians 12:9 says ""My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." So therefore let me boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

Boast about my weaknesses?! Crazy talk, I know. In this world we are taught to be strong and to never let them see you struggle, but only in our weakness can we show God's strength. That is the best news! I don't even have to be strong, I just have to let God do his thing and be filled with joy that he has saved me and sustains me.

Psh. Just try and be cynical now.

life lately.

In some ways I wish that I could tell you about how amazingly adventurous my life has been lately. 

That I've been exploring mountains, discovering new things, changing the world. But I've been realizing that this time of my life may not be like that.

{via here}

It may be characterized by simple pleasures, like the plant that sits on my desk and makes me feel like someone or something is waiting for me to get home.

Or the joy of new books that teach you everything you would or could ever want to know about food, cooking and baking. The kind of book that makes you actually want to take notes.

or edamame for a small change from the ordinary snack.

Or the many days that are spent like this. 

Coffee in hand, sun shining and textbook open. 

I read a quote once that said that you won't remember those nights you got enough sleep, or that time you actually got your homework done and turned in on time, those moments you actually felt prepared for a test. Etc. Etc.

While that may be true for some... I'm on a mission to remember those days. When everything seemed to go according to plan, when I was prepared for class. 

Because it was in these moments that I was at peace, that I could look to the sky, soak in the sunshine, stop to smell the flowers and thank God for what he has given me.

{via here}

what's life been like for you lately?

what you need to know about me.

Don't you wish that every morning could look like this? 

Yeah, me too. Like cinnamon lightly dusting frothed milk...can't get much better than that.

But, on to more important useful  things. Okay, on to other things. 

Have you ever introduced yourself to someone and talked a little bit about who you are only to look back and say "Oh! I should've said _{insert weird fact here}_!" .

Hm...Just me? 

Well, to remedy this, and because I was inspired by this amazing blog, I've compiled a list; a list of everything you need to know about me if we are going to be besties. 

Enjoy my eccentricities for a while, why don't you?

I will never for any reason give up eating dark chocolate. Like ever.

My favorite way to enjoy coffee is to drink it 10/14 coffee, 4/14 milk. Let me tell you, it's a science.

I hate drinking cold water. 

ANYTHING tiny, be it babies, animals, food, toys, you name it...I LOVE it. I. just. can't. stand. it.

My two favorite places to be are in the kitchen and in the sunshine.

Weddings make me giddy.

Hydrangeas are my all-time favorite flower.

I usually cry at least once a day. It's therapy.

I'm currently obsessed with figs and sugar snap peas. 

I love leather.

I'm all in favor of doing things that make you feel like a little kid, aka: jumping on the trampoline, dancing around, sock sliding...etc. 

I love burnt food. Especially popcorn.

I can't stand the way my fingernails look painted.

Anything fishy makes me gag, the smell, the taste. Ew. 

I hate overhead lighting. Lamps for the win.

The smell of Texas Mountain Laurels is quite possibly the best smell in the world. 

If I could eat breakfast foods for every meal of the day, I probably would. 

Going on walks is pretty much the best.

I could go thrifting all day and be completely satisfied.

Zucchini and squash make me want to vom.

I adore cottages

Fires in the winter make me think of home.

As a kid, I hated peanut butter and jelly together, popcorn and ice cream. Believe me, things have since changed.

I've always wanted to break a bone.

I hate wearing shoes, and therefore never wear shoes in the house.

Linen, lace and chiffon are my absolute favorite fabrics.

I don't like polka-dots.

I'm addicted to gum.

I want to start a garden.

My deepest wish is to live in a cottage in the mountains. There I can camp and hike all spring and summer and read books, craft, and cook by the fire all winter. Plausible right? 

There you have it. I'm sure those aren't all of my eccentricities, but hey...it's a start.

So, what about you?